YOU certainly don't get to use the phrases ‘sporting success' and ‘boost to the economy' much about Ireland - so when this week the two could be used in the same sentence, it was as rare as a pass along
the ground during Jack Charlton's days in charge of the Emerlald Isle.
 News this week that UEFA have confirmed that Lansdowne Road will host the 2011 Europa League final was met with a mixture of celebrations across the nation and people saying "what the fuck is the Europa Cup."
Well, fear not disbelievers, it's just the new name for the UEFA Cup and the Ballsbridge will host two of the biggest sides in the continent, unless the current trend continues for teams to care less about the competition than music lovers do about Rik Waller and Steve Brookstein's careers.
Welcoming the successful bid, John Delaney, FAI Chief Exec, said: "The final will cement the reputation of the new stadium with a global audience and along with the 4 Associations' tournament, hosted in Dublin in 2011, will provide a huge boost to the country's tourism industry."
Excellent news guys.
Now all you need to do is build the fucking place.
 IRISH KIDNEY FAILURE
AFTER months of waiting, it has finally been confirmed that Irish superman Brian O'Driscoll has survived last summer's change in coaching regime and will lead Ireland into the RBS 6 Nations.
A delay in stating who would fill the captaincy role had led to rumours that new coach, Declan Kidney, was considering promoting Munster lock Paul O'Connell or Ulster hooker Rory Best.
Kidney insisted nothing should be read into the six-day delay between naming Ireland's Six Nations squad and reappointing O'Driscoll.
"It was just a lapse of time. I wanted to give him time to look after himself because the captaincy is a demanding role," said Kidney. "Having done it for so long, it was my way of looking after him."
So leaving him in the lurch was for his own benefit?
It's a bit like the time an old girlfriend looked after British Balls by withholding the rather important information that she was suffering from a severe dose of the clap. A month later we were pissing through the eye of a needle and had stopped buying butter, but if we use Mr Kidney's rationale it was all for our own good.
Ireland open their Six Nations campaign by losing to bogey team France on February 7.
• IRISH Aussie Rules legend Tahdg Kennelly this week made the agonising decision to bring down the curtain on his AFL career and return to Ireland, citing a concern his body may not allow him to fulfil his dream of following in the footsteps of his father and brother by playing an All-Ireland final for Kerry. Kennelly leaves Sydney Swans after 10 years, 158 games and one Premiership winners medal.
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