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Apples Fall from the Sky in Coventry

Apples Fall from the Sky in CoventryThe good people of Coventry had a shock this week after they discovered the apple does fall from the tree after all as over 100 apples were dumped on motorists on a main road in Keresley.

Drivers were forced to swerve and brake as the apples fell from the sky, thought to have been swept up in a freak vortex.

The UK is currently being battered by gale force winds that reached up to 165 mph in Scotland, leaving many without electricity or water.

A senior meteorologist from British Weather Services, said: "The weather we have at the moment is very volatile and we probably have more to come.

"Essentially these events are caused when a vortex of air, kind of like a mini tornado, lifts things off the ground rising up into the atmosphere until the air around it causes them to fall to earth again.

However, a freak black-out happened on the same road last year which has led Keresley parish councillor Sandra Camwell to another explanation for the falling apples.

She said: "Strange things do happen in this part of the world. I think it's highly likely that apples did fall from the sky. We're in an area with a spooky history, where there have been witches for centuries, after all."

Those pesky witches - what will they think of next?

By Rebecca Jones
Twitter: @RebeccaEJones

 

Lemur Found on Tooting Common

Lemur Found on Tooting CommonA lemur named King Julien has been found freezing on Tooting Common.

Named after the character from 2005 film Madagascar, King Julien, who was found collapsed on the South-West London common suffering from hypothermia, he is now being closely monitored.

A vet at Victoria's Blue Cross animal hospital has said, "This has got to be the most unusual animal we've ever taken in."

After a three-day battle to save his life, nurses at the hospital have gradually coaxed King Julien into eating. He is now on the road to recovery ready to be transferred to the Specialist Wildlife Services who will try to rehome him. But the mystery remains as to how he ended up 6000 miles away from home on Tooting Common.

 

Nick Clegg Welcomes Communism

Nick Clegg Welcomes CommunismOh Nick Clegg, who knows what to make of him.

We know that things are tough over here in the UK, but we would quite like it if someone came to a sensible conclusion already and sorted out this right mess!

Nick Clegg is now proposing a crackdown on ‘abhorrent' top corporate pay.

"Just as we have been quite tough on unsustainable and unaffordable things in the public sector, we now need to get tough on irresponsible and unjustified behaviour of top remuneration of executives in the private sector."

Clegg told the BBC's Andrew Marr Show, "We need to make sure that people in the public sector do not feel that they are doing all the heavy lifting." Adding, "I do not mean that the government starts going round setting pay rates in the private sector. I believe people should be well paid if they succeed. What I abhor is people who get paid bucketloads of cash in difficult times for failing."

We too abhor the fact that they can go to the pub every day, where as we have to restrict it to weekends, but we're not quite sure how the tories will feel about loosing their caviar money. Lord knows they're digging their heels in and attempting to privatise education, and getting away with it seemingly well. So we doubt they'll let go of their bonuses.

...Anyway everyone knows that no one listens to Nick Clegg. Poor chap. Russell Howard illustrates this beautifully below.

 

 

 

Millionaire TV Presenter Jeremy Clarkson calls For Public Sector Strikers to be Shot.

Millionaire TV Presenter Jeremy Clarkson calls For Public Sector Strikers to be Shot.Jeremy Clarkson, the infamously bigoted presenter of BBC's motoring programme Top Gear, last night called for teachers and nurses striking for their pensions to be shot.

In a rant on last night's The One Show that left presenters Matt Baker and Alex Jones squirming in their seats Clarkson said of public sector strikers: "I'd have them all shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families."

He added, "I mean, how dare they go on strike when they've got these gilt-edged pensions that are going to be guaranteed while the rest of us have to work for a living?"

As many, like former Deputy Prime Minister John Prescott have suggested, this is an interesting comment from a man who earns £1 Million a year from the public sector through the British taxpayers licence fee. And exactly how much "work" is involved in driving super-cars around an exotic race track one day a week Jeremy? Not exactly the graveyard shift in an NHS hospital, is it?

Clarkson, a good friend of British Prime Minister David Cameron, also went on to complain about train delays caused by suicidal people throwing themselves onto the tracks. He suggested the trains should simply run over their bodies, stating: "You just think, 'Why have we stopped because we've hit somebody?' It won't make them better."

The BBC made an immediate apology after the show stating that it was sorry for any offense that may have been caused by Clarkson's comments. However, this did not stop the public outpouring of fury that followed Clarkson's right wing rant.

Piers Morgan, ex-editor of The Daily Mirror, tweeted: "Clarkson can abuse - and hit (weakly..) - me all he likes. But what he said about the strikers just proves he's a nasty little twerp."

Labour's shadow minister for the Cabinet Office, Jon Trickett, said: "Clarkson should apologise. And the prime minister should make clear he disassociates himself from the distasteful remarks uttered by one of his friends."

The Telegraph (unsurprisingly) has defended Clarkson by way of that age old get out of jail free card, "He was only joking..." They have labelled viewers that were offended by him as "idiotic" while suggesting they themselves should be shot. Well, we would never have expected that from those fair-minded folks, oh wait...

Many others, including a large number of the general public who pay his wages, are calling for Clarkson's dismissal from the BBC. Hopefully this will be followed through and we can finally get this vile, ignorant little biff-head off of our television screens and into the dole que.

By Rebecca Jones, Twitter: RebeccaEJones

 

Biggest Union Strike In Britain Over Pensions

Biggest Union Strike In Britain Over PensionsOh what a long day it's been for most of Britain, what with all the union strikes and that.

Christ the lack of trains, the inconvenience when we got our knob caught in our zipper earlier and there being no one at A & E to free it, and then to top it all off - couldn't jet off on a plane for me pasta in Rome for tea neither. Bloody strikes are a frickin' nuisance aren't they?

But hang on they want us buggers to keep working til we're 67, pay more of our salary/beer money into our pensions, but won't get it til we're 67. Well sod that. All you lazy buggers, sorry, Union workers who went on strike today, we support you and hope you enjoyed your day off.

However next time Britain's Unions decides to go on strike, can you please make sure it's on a Saturday when we don't have to leave the house and work. Also dearest Union, don't strike before Christmas when people need to not have to take the day off to look after the kids. Everyone needs their wages for Christmas pressies. We're just saying.

Strike facts...


Private sector workers on average pay around 3.5% into their pensions
Public sector workers (so civil servants, teachers, NHS workers) are paying 5% but being asked to pay 6.6%.

Strike in Numbers

Council workers on strike (England, Scotland and Wales)
850,500
Unions backing strike
29


Hospitals

Appointment cancellations
54,000na
Operation cancellations
6,95023%
Schools closed

UK total
18,34268%
England
13,34962%
Scotland
2,66799%
Wales
1,52686%
Northern Ireland
80066%

 
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