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Chav Mother Blames House Parties On Ghost

Chav Mother Blames House Parties on GhostA chavvy young mother has been evicted from her house after blaming all night, every night parties on a poltergeist.

After a period of upsetting neighbours, Leanne Fennell would play loud music all night. One neighbour commented on the hell raisers antics saying, "She told us a poltergeist would keep switching the music on really loud when she was in bed. Some of the neighbours had a terrible time. There was always bottles and bottles of wine and cider just chucked in the garden. She had at least four huge bonfires to burn some of the rubbish that was in there. Eventually, it went too far and we'd had enough."

The 20-year-old mother was finally brought to justice by magistrates when she was ordered to pay fines of £370 and costs of £500 to Hull city council. Fennell also had her four televisions, four DVD players and a CD player taken away to be destroyed.

So it just shows, if you can't behave and the council will take your toys away.

That reminds us, see that police car you think we pissed on last week, the traffic cones you think we stole and placed upon peoples cars, and that person you thought you saw wondering down the middle of the street with their pants round their ankles whilst singing Rihanna's 'Only Girl In The World' whilst clutching their butt cheeks... it wasn't us, it was a wood nymph.


By Fanny Frangipane
@fannyfrangipane

Lindsay After The Dentist Goes Viral...click HERE

 

 

200 Nude Students Crash Ferry

200 Nude Students Crash FerryWhen BBM casts its mind back to the Dover to Calais crossings on educational excursions all we remember is people puking and trying to buy booze without getting caught, but 200 students from Manchester Metropolitan University showed everyone how it's done.

The students decided to run riot upon the P&O ferry, stripping off and dancing on tables whilst on their way to a ski trip in the Alps and trashing the £180 million ferry.

The Sun reports that Captain Steve Johnson described the behaviour of undergraduates from Manchester Metropolitan University and the University of Manchester as "despicable" last night. Commenting on the incident, Captain Birdseye said, "There was dancing on tables and bottles and glasses kicked off tables. Males and females were exposing themselves in generally drunken, loutish behaviour. There were many complaints."

Sounds like a riot to us!

By Fanny Frangipane
@fannyfrangipane

Amanda Bynes DUI Charge...click HERE

 

 

 

Looking for Young Nude Female Workers

Nude House Sales GirlsAnd apparently it's nothing to do with sex...


Chris Taylor, head of Nude House runs a business selling software called ‘Move your Mouse' which retails at £2500. Must be some good stuff!

The thing that sets his company apart though, is that it is a haven for naturists. Taylor says that he believes it is rare for naturists to find places that they can work while practising their naked hobby and he is happy to provide that.

A recent ad on Craigslist advertising a job vacancy for web coders however has caught peoples attention.

It asks specifically for young females who are willing to work nude.
Taylor insists that it is all innocent however and not simply a pervy ploy. He makes a point that Nude House is staffed by males and females, who are true naturists and not simply out for sex or voyeurism.

 

''We have got a number of males and only one female, so we are trying to find more females to balance the numbers. As far as I am aware, there is no other company in the world that offers naturists proper work.

We are trying very hard to identify all the people who are applying just to see naked boys and girls and those who just want to have sex, as naturists don't work that way.''

So if you're one of the millions of unemployed in the UK maybe you can find a place where you can be naked all day long and make £500 for every sale you make! What could be better?

 

By Lewis Roe
@CrackingAce


Want more BBM Nude News? Click below!

Naked Wedding
Naked Flight
Naked on Scotland Tonight

 

 

Daily Pooer Comes Under Fire

Daily Pooer Comes Under FireGreenwich Council have got a tough old mission on their hands as they set about finding out who the culprit is who is pooing, urinating and vomiting in a lift of a council estate in Eltham on a daily basis.

Greenwich Council has blamed the mess on a dog, but at a meeting last week, calls were made for forensic tests on the poo, which residents are confident will prove it is the stuff of men.

Resident, Terry Liddle, 63, who is serious about getting this shit sorted out said, "If it's a dog it must have incredibly large bowels and a very large bladder." Continuing, "People go out for an evening, get bladdered and, when they get in the lift, deliberately or otherwise, lose control of their bodily functions and let fly."

What we would think they should also be concerned about is just what the hell is wrong with this person if they're vomiting, shitting and pissing all at the same time on a daily basis.

Talk about living in a shit hole.

The quest continues...

By Fanny Frangipane
@fannyfrangipane

Six-Legged Cow Lilli Survives...read more

 

Snakes Threaten Homes In Scotland

Snakes Threaten Homes In ScotlandWe despair at the depleting intelligence of the general public, I mean why can't they all just be as intellectually superior as BBM?

A thicko Scottish woman who refuses to be named (most likely due to the realisation that she has an IQ of 0.3) called the Scottish Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals when she thought she had a mahoosive python in her attic. When the snake clearing swat team descended on her home, they found that the "snake" was nothing more than a common draft excluder used to stop warm air from escaping from underneath doors.

What we would also like to bring up is just who the flup buys draft excluders these days? We thought those went out with shell suits and Boglins in the early 90s.

Jees Louise!

By Fanny Frangipane
@fannyfrangipane

Charlize Theron Releases Sex Tap... read more

 
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