With the US election taking place this month, we thought we’d take a look at the best Donald Trump jokes on the net… we’re gathering you can tell how we’d vote given the chance. After all a piece of spam with a wig stuck to it doesn’t seem like world leader material to us!
Best Donald Trump Jokes
1. What is Donald Trump telling Independents? Orange Is The New Black.
2. What does Donald Trump say when he can’t find his Viagra? “The erection is rigged!”
3. Now that Macy’s has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President elect? By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
4. If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have? The Trump Card
5. How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants? Juan by Juan.
6. What’s the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan? If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
7. Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall. Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
8. What does Trumps hair and a thong have in common? They both barely cover the asshole.
9. Wanna hear a racist joke? Donald Trump.
10. If Donald Trump gets elected President, there’ll be hell toupée.
11. Donald Trump has labelled Hillary Clinton “disgusting” for taking a bathroom break during the recent Democrat debate.
Trump himself never has to go to the bathroom, as the crap just comes straight out of his mouth.
12. Donald Trump is visiting an elementary school one day.
In one of the classes, they’re in the middle of a discussion about words and their meanings.
The teacher asks Trump if he’d like to lead the discussion of the word “tragedy.”
He agrees to do so and asks the class for an example of a tragedy.
One little boy stands up and says, “If my best friend who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a runaway tractor comes along and runs him over and kills him, that would be a tragedy.”
“No,” says Trump, “That would be an accident.”
Next a little girl raises her hand and says, “If a school bus carrying forty children went off a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy.”
“No, I’m afraid not,” says Trump. “That’s what we would call a great loss.”
The room goes silent for a while as no other children volunteer.
Trump looks around the room and says a little testily, “Isn’t there anyone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?”
At last, a little boy at the back of the class raises his hand and says, “If a private jet carrying you, Mr Trump, was struck by a missile and blown to smithereens, that would be a tragedy.”
“Fantastic!” shouts Mr Trump, “That’s exactly right. And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?”
“Well,” says the boy, “Because it sure as hell wouldn’t be a great loss and it probably wouldn’t be an accident either.”