If a royal brother and sister shagged would it be Princest? Tim, Wollongong
Lindsay Lohan cried in court today as she was sentenced to 90 days in prison.
Cheer up, Lindsay, it could be worse. You could be a ginger alcoholic lesbian who hasn’t had a hit movie in five years.
Oh wait, no… On second thought, feel free to cry all you want. Ryan, Bondi
Women! If a bloke remembers the colour of your eyes right after the first date… Your tits are ridiculously tiny. Richard, Surry Hills
I saw a fat bird down the pub, her T-shirt said – Watch out, I’m a maneater!
I went up to her and said “Excuse me love, about your T-shirt slogan.”
She stopped me and angrily said “Oh let me guess, you want to know how many men I’ve eaten?! Well I can’t help my size you know!”
I said “Actually no, I wasn’t going to say that at all.”
She looked happier and smiled as she said “Oh yes, what did you want to say then?.”
“That’s not how you spell Manatee.” Chris, Paddington
Drugs don’t ruin your career.
Drug tests do. Michael, Adelaide
I have a mate who has seen every episode of Top Gear 137 times.
Dave. Steve, Darlinghurst
Scared the postman today by going to the door completely naked.
I’m not sure what scared him more, my naked body or the fact that I knew where he lived. Dan, Perth