Some Scouse bastards wrote “mong” all over my windows last night.
It took me ages to lick it off. Phil, Surry Hills
It makes me laugh when women go on Twitter and say ‘follow me’ but when you do it in real life they call the police… Greg, Kings Cross
Will people stop making jokes about Fatima Whitbread, it has gone way too far now!
He has feelings too. Paul, Paddington
Conrad Murray was recently sent to prison for the manslaughter of Michael Jackson. Although the court case was a thriller, Conrad was found to be the smooth criminal. Barry, Adelaide
I’m going to make a fucking fortune.
I’ve just found Michael Jackson’s other glove. Wesley, St Kilda
How many babies does it take to paint a house?
Depends how hard you throw them. Geoff, Darlinghurst
I keep hearing people complaining about porn on facebook. The way I see it, I can get a good wank over a fit girl with her tits out and when my girlfriend checks my internet history I don’t get slapped round the face. Trent, Bondi
Last night I shagged a tidy fifteen-year-old from my little brothers school class.
I just hope no one finds out though, he might lose his teaching job. Matt, Balmoral