So Donna Summer has sadly died, but what kind of sick bastards would we be if we didn't provide you lot with some ill timed jokes. So please sit back and enjoy our collection of Donna Summer jokes.
I was never a great Donn
I'm hosting a charity concert for people who struggle to reach orgasm.If you can't come let me know. Jason, St Kilda
After I've finished masturbating, I like to sit on my hand for a while so it feels like someone else make
We've always suspected that anyone who could dance whilst reaching those high notes might drop anchor in pooh bay, but now it's looking almost confirmed that John Travolta may be batting for both teams since it emerged that
Last night I saw a man and a woman kissing, and it was obvious they were very much in love. I just had to let them know. So I walked up to them and said "I must say, you two make the sweetest couple."They looked at me for a
We're all used to Courtney Love doing wildy inappropriate things, such as getting her tits out on Twitter, her massive drug binges that result in her trashing hotel rooms, and of course feuding with her poor daughter, Franc
"I've had a breakdown," I told the lady from the AA."Okay sir, tell us where you are and we will send someone as soon as possible", she replied."On the M40, heading north, just beyond junction 6." "Okay sir, we will be w
Simon Cowell's been hitting the headlines recently for his affair with Danii Minogue hitting the papers. Although the public were already fully aware that Simone Cowell was an arrogant arsehole, we thought we'd just firm up
Mr G. Melbourne (Kentish Town ex-pat)
Why don't gingers play hide and seek on Friday the 13th?No one would look for them. Gav, Elizabeth bay
Why was the washing machine laughing?Because it was taking the piss out
I'm really worried about my Parrot.He keeps saying, "I can't go on, I hate my life". My roommate's too selfish to notice. He's always crying. Jeff, St Kilda
I was having sex with a heavily pregnant woman last night when sh
Ed came home drunk, slid into bed beside his sleeping wifeand fell into a deep slumber. He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, 'You died in your sleep, Ed.'Ed was stunned. 'I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've go
Tulisa's blowjobs are a lot like her concerts.Nobody comes.Sam, Manly
I knew all along it was really Tulisa in that sex tape.You could tell by the way she was miming sucking that cock.Robbie, Fremantle
That Tulisa
My mate's shagging twins who both like it up the arse. I asked how do you tell them apart? He said easy, Sally's got massive tits and Derek's got a moustache... Stan, Darlinghurst
Just been done by the police.According to
I had sex with a yummy mummy at work today.I love being an archaeologist. Jan, Bondi
I said to my mate, "The wife has been saying she wants a Threesome."He said, "Excellent stuff, what have you said to her?""I said if she
IN the good old days I used to call my son Turkey. He weighed about 12lbs, was less than a year old, and knew how to gobble...
The police knocked on my door this evening. Sam, Richmond
"WHERE were you around 8:05 last
Things may be bad now, but at least Stacey Solomon can fall back on her job starring as the entire cast of the Lloyds Tsb adverts. Anna, St Kilda
Anyone else fancy putting a bet on Stacey Solomon to win the National this y
A man donates blood to his wife after she is badly injured. A few years later they go through a bitter divorce and he demands his blood back!So she throws a tampon in his face and says "There you go you miserable sod I'll p
Why did Playboy paid $1 million dollars to secure pictures of Lindsay Lohan naked? Surely they should have just taken her out and got her smashed for about 50 bucks and the same result.Will, Surry Hills
So Lindsay Lohan ha
"If I wear a long shirt, everyone says 'Oh my god, he lost so much weight'...maybe I'm sick or something!" - no just addicted
Jo, Bondi
Gerard Butler is being treated for substance abuse at the Betty Ford Center. Butler h
I met a popstar in a nightclub last night and we ended up getting really drunk and going back to my place.
She was all over me in the taxi, stroking and caressing my body and whispering filth into my ear, but as soon as sh
Whitney Houston to star in her new film. The Bodybag. Pat, Greenwich
"The Police were unable to revive Whitney Houston"I always thought that Sting & his mates were a set of useless cunts, this confirms it. Rich, St Kil
Harry Redknapp has refused the England job as he said he wasn't looking forward to the "tax ahead" Dan, Surry Hills Sky Sports News have just asked Harry Redknapp about the Euros.
He's shit himself!
"Euros, what Euros?!?
What's the difference between Fabio Capello and Postman Pat?
Postman Pat can deliver the goods. Harry, Tottenham
Fabio Capello walks into a bar.
Sorry, I mean 'job centre'. Ryan, Potts Point
I asked Fabio Capello i
Fabio Capello resigns to concentrate fully on his commitments as one of the Dolmio puppets. Meg, Bondi
George Michael has sympathised with the captain of the stricken Italian liner saying...I'm often left abandoned and lyi
We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginit
My girlfriend reckons that a small penis shouldn't effect our sex life.She may be right, but I'd prefer it if she didn't have one. Billy, Pattaya
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather... Not screaming a
- Australians NEVER die... they just stay down under! Jim, Perth
- Why do so many Australian men suffer premature ejaculation? Because they have to rush back to the pub to tell their mates what happened! Tim, London
- Wha
"Excuse me, any ideas as to what I do with this helmet?"
"Sorry I don't, the entire concept goes over my head." Sarah, Windsor
I hate Auto Correct. I just texted my Nan for Sex tonight by mistake.
I meant 'Tomo
I pointed to two old drunks across the bar from us and told my mate, "That's us in 10 years" He said, "That's a mirror. dickhead." Richard, Darlinghurst
For centuries, men and women have argued over which is more painful:
For my New Year's Resolution, I have decided to only smoke after sex.
If 2009 is anything to go by, I've quit. Nile, St Kilda
New Year's resolution- Date more models.Revised- Date more.Revised again- Get a date.Revised
What did the letter O say to the letter Q?Dude, your dick is hanging out. Jeff, Bondi
My dog has really bad breath. So we tend to skip foreplay. Luke, Greenwich
I don't have any kids, so I just show pictures of my wank so
