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Man Can’t Find His Potato Bags…In His Sleep

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Man Can't Find His Potato Bags...In His SleepImagine being a mild-mannered man who is a boring old advertising executive. Then imagine having almost 25,000 followers on Twitter because of what you do when you’re asleep. Intriguing.

Adam is a serial rude, crude, and often insane sleep-talker. Wife Karen began logging Adam’s comments for her own amusement, but after putting them in a blog for friends to read, they’ve been overwhelmed by its popularity. In the past five days, around half a million people in over 50 countries have read the hilarious blog ‘Sleep Talkin’ Man’.

Adam’s comments range from sex to vampire penguins and avocados. The colourful ramblings of Adam Slavick-Lennard’s sleep-talking has had the BBM office in tears of laughter all day. Here are a few examples:

“Where’s the nail polish remover? It’s time to clean your eyeballs. Need the liquid! Mmm-hmmm. And a scouring brush. Yeah. Get into all those hard-to-reach places.”

“Potato bags! I can’t find my potato bags. I need them desperately. Who’s got my potato bags?”

“Vampire penguins? Zombie guinea pigs? We’re done for … done for.”

“The fruit flies have escaped! Hide your plums! Satsumas flee! FLEE! Oh, this is gonna be total fruitocide. Fuck you, avocado, you’re on your own.”

“My vision of hell is a lentil casserole.”

A couple of them are rather scary and you can imagine that his wife may be fearing for her life slightly:

“Oh, you’ve done it now. You’ve pushed me too far. I’m gonna bring out the attack gerbil and sit back and watch him tear you a new fuckin’ asshole. Come on, gerbil, attack! Stop sitting there cleaning yourself looking cute, you fucker, and KILL! KILL!! Damn it. Stupid twitchy nose little thing.”

Thankfully the blog comes with a warning: “Some content on this page is not suitable for young eyes or faint hearts. Views expressed by Sleep Talkin’ Man rarely reflect the opinions of waking Adam.”

That’s alright then. Sleep tight Karen.

Read the full blog HERE

By Ella Delancey

Twitter: @ellaaadxb

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