Whether you try to deny it or not, everybody loves sick jokes so here’s our round up of the best jokes sent into us this month.
Got some sick jokes of your own? Email them to us at firstname.lastname@example.org
Apart from humans the only other animal that has sex for pleasure is the dolphin… I had to shag a lot of animals to find that one out. Tony, Surry Hills
I had a dodgy curry earlier and said to my wife “My arsehole’s on fire.”
“Ring Sting”, she said.
“How’s that c**t supposed to help?” I asked her. Gary, Bendigo
Fell asleep at a party last night and some twat put a teabag in my mouth. I went f**king mental. No one treats me like a mug. Sarah, Newcastle
I was 8 years old when it happened. Uncle Gary came into my room, the sun was shining and I was looking forward to another nice day. But young as I was, I knew full well what his intentions were from the start. As young and small as I was I fought as hard as I could, but he was just too big and strong and I was powerless to stop him. The shame, hurt, confusion all ruined my childhood and to this day I still wake up in the night crying about it. But I was luckier than some. That was the one and only time I had to wear a Man U shirt. Nev, Paddington
I said, “I’m off out mum”
She said, “You’re not going anywhere until you change out of that mini skirt.”
I said, “Why?”
She said, “Because I can see your bollocks Ben.” Aaron, Richmond