The language kids use nowadays eh? It’s all ‘eff this’ and ‘eff that’ or ‘I’m gonna eff you up mother effer’. It’s awful. Why don’t they just say fuck like normal people?
Thank the Lord on high for the good people at Toys R Us in the States, who have taken a firm stance on helping our kids use more expressive expletives. Unfortunately, a few ungrateful buggers don’t seem to share their view and the store has received several complaints about a new ‘talking’ baby doll they’ve been selling to unsuspecting parents and their children.
When pressed in the stomach, the baby babbles something that sounds suspiciously like, “Hey crazy bitch!” Concerned parents aren’t happy but, to be fair, if someone pushed us in the stomach we’d probably call them a crazy bitch as well.
“Return the dolls and boycott Toys R Us,” wrote Sue from Tulsa, Oklahoma, on the company’s website. “I’m outraged,” wrote a grandmother from Idaho on the site. “The people of Toys R Us are a shower of foul-mouthed bastards and I’ll personally make them eat my shit,” added Esther Rantzen.
Toys R Us have a different take on the situation. They basically say their customers are liars. “Of course we would never sell a doll that uses profanity of any kind,” said spokeswoman Jennifer Albano. “As with many talking baby dolls what you are hearing is baby babble.”
As excuses go, it’s up there with blaming the dog for that shitty smell in the air. Or, as in BBM’s recent court case, claiming that the jizz was already in Cheryl Cole’s underwear draw before we broke into her house.